Drop the Bags Bitch

V-Day Without a Partner

February 08, 2023 Melinda Episode 34
Drop the Bags Bitch
V-Day Without a Partner
Show Notes Transcript

Even if you say it is a stupid holiday, do you kind of envy the mushy couples you see on social media?

Yeah, I know the feeling. 

This episode has the antidote. 

Plus, an interesting historical tidbit that I know will tickle your brain ;)

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Hey my friends so in honor of Valentine's Day I wanted to give you a little interesting tidbit to chew on before we get into the meat of our episode and that is a little bit on the significance of women getting jewelry as a gift for special occasions. And I think one of the reasons why jewelry is such a preferred gift is that because historically, jewelry was the one thing that a woman could own and could sell in a pinch if she needed to. Right, think back to like, the Victorian days, women weren't allowed to have traditional jobs. Women couldn't own property, they didn't have access to money. They were at the mercy of their nearest male relative or their husband. They really didn't have any sort of financial control of their own. But they could have jewelry and if they were in a bind, they could sell their jewelry. I think jewelry has always been one of women's main investments. I think it's always kind of been that women have always liked and insisted on getting jewelry, not just because they like pretty baubles, but because it had very practical uses. It was a way for a woman to have some security in a world that was not made for her to be secure on her own. And interestingly, I think this is still a little bit of the case today as well. If you've been through a divorce, for example, like you fight over the bank accounts and the houses and the cars and the debt and all of that. But did jewelry ever come up? Did your husband ever say he wanted half your jewelry? How about your wedding ring? Do you still have it after the divorce? I don't know about you but my ex and I split up the profits from the sale of our house, we split up investments ,and cash, etc. But the one thing that never came up was my jewelry. Even the jewelry that had been given to me by his family. It's like jewelry is this thing that men don't think of as a source of value. It's almost like an underground trade that women for centuries have been engaged in right under men's noses. Kind of makes you think of jewelry differently. Hmm. Anyway, I thought that would be a nice little tidbit to share. With you in honor of Valentine's Day. But let's talk about finding yourself on Valentine's Day without a partner. And now for some people this is a no big deal. Like it's just another day to them. It's a made up holiday. It's not even real. And those people are probably going to be fine. But there's another subset of people that find themselves a little bit sad. Right? This is when all the couples come out and they're showing off their plans and all the things they're doing and all the ooey, gooey lovey dovey stuff. And you can find yourself feeling a little bit envious. And resentful. I think especially if you're divorced, because when you get married, you expect to be with someone for the rest of your life. And then for that suddenly to not be the case it can be quite jarring. And this holiday, even though it's a made up holiday ,has a way of reminding people of that. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's perfectly normal to find your self having feelings about this day. There's no judgment. But what I want to offer anyone that finds themselves having a hard time with this particular days is this. When you spend your time focusing on lack that is what you're going to experience. When you're thinking about the lack of a romantic partner you can end up being consumed by this one facet of your life often ignoring where you do have love and support in your life. How many people do you have in your life that love you? How many people do you have that you love? Our society tends to put romantic love on a pedestal as if it is somehow better than any other kind of love. It iss not. Love is love. But when you focus on the one kind of love that you don't have, you miss out on enjoying all the love that you do have. And I say all the time how we can't always choose our circumstances. But we can always choose how we're going to think about those circumstances. We always get to choose what we are putting our focus on. And there are so many other options for your focus other than the lack of a partner that are available to you. You can focus on the other relationships you have in your life and make plans with someone in your circle who also finds themselves without a partner. You could declare it a celebration of self love and pull out all the stops for yourself. Or you could ditch the notion of love altogether and make it a day of hate where you burn your ex in effigy and sing angry karaoke. Or you could ignore it altogether. I bet you could think of even more options that are open to you. You get to decide what this day or any day means to you. The day has no power until you give it power. It is just a number on our calendar and you get to decide what it means. All right. My friends until next time, be well