This blew my mind when I had this revelation about how our brains work. I know it will blow yours too.
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Hello my friends. So, recently a business mentor of mine was just talking about tiered pricing options. She had just she had just started offering tiered pricing options for one of her offerings and she was kind of sharing other people's examples of tiered pricing options that they offer. And she gave an example of like, the different tiers to offer and the criteria for making each tier based on a person's financial situation.Like, you answer certain questions and that would determine where you would fall in that tier. And when I was reading that I automatically assumed that I would be in a lower tier. Like how I felt is just that I belonged on a low tier. But then reading through the descriptions of what makes the criteria for each tier, I realized that I was actually in the top tier, the tier that, based on their financial situation should pay full price and it surprised me. Like how could it be that I was considered financially well off when I felt impoverished? Like it was really shocking to me because the reality was so starkly contrasted to what I felt. And what I realized is that the feeling of being impoverished or the feelings of scarcity are a habit for me. Like some of you may know, I grew up poor like I grew up in American poverty. And those feelings associated with that kind of became ingrained for me. Like it's almost like it's a part of me, like a habit. And even though I have pulled myself out of poverty, and I'm actually doing really well I still feel the same way. And it's not because those feelings have any basis in reality any longer. It's just cuz I still have that habit. And I think a lot of the way we feel can be attributed to have it. Like, have you ever heard of the Sunday scaries? What the Sunday scaries are is basically when you have Sunday night anxiety about the approach of the upcoming Monday and the workweek, like the weekends over and it's time to get back to the grind and you just get like that Sunday night anxiety. And I used to get the Sunday scaries all the time, like every Sunday night, I would start to feel a sense of dread and impending doom and the anxiety would just build and build and build. And I always thought it was because I had to go to work the next day. And maybe that was true at first, but it became a habit to have Sunday night anxiety. And I know this for certain because when I got laid off, and I had no job to go to on Monday, I still got the Sunday scaries. It no longer had anything to do with whatever was happening on Monday. It was like an auto program that my brain was just running. And I've seen that happen with other anxiety that I have too. Like there was a time in my life that I realized Oh, I get anxiety on Tuesdays like clockwork which was another habit. And I think these habits of feeling can show up anywhere. And I think the one that you have to watch out for if you've been in an abusive relationship is the habit of keeping how you felt in that relationship even after you've left that relationship. So if you're used to feeling anxious or rundown or beat down in the relationship, you might find that even after leaving that you still feel the same way. Like it might be a brain habit. I remember having a client once whose abusive ex was literally deceased, yet she still felt the fear of him everywhere she went. Like he was literally able to no longer harm her or yet she still felt like the same fear as if he was looming around every corner. And it was a habit for her and I think it could be things like putting yourself down, feeling bad about yourself, feeling insecure. It all might just be a habit that you have and habits can be broken. So how do you break a feeling habit? Well, first I think you have to recognize when you're having one. So before I realized that my Tuesday anxiety was a habit. I was engaging with it and trying to figure out what was wrong. Like I would feel anxious and it'd be like oh my God, what's happening? What's wrong? And once I realized it was a habit, I stopped engaging with it. Like it wasn't important anymore. I didn't pay much attention to it. And when you're recognizing like it's just a habit it puts a little distance between you and the experience like oh, yeah, this is just that habit thing. And then you're gonna work on replacing it if you want. But like in the case of my Tuesday, anxiety when I stopped engaging with it and stop paying attention to it, it just went away. Like all the power just got sucked right out of it. I stopped believing in it. I stopped believing it was a problem. I stopped believing it was something that I needed to fix because of like, oh, that's just the habit playing out it's no big deal. And it became really matter of fact for me like oh, yeah, this is just what Tuesdays feel like this is just what happens on Tuesdays. It's no biggie. And then it was no biggie. And the same thing happened with the Sunday scaries like as soon as I realized that nothing was wrong, and I was just experiencing habit. I became less distressed by it and I didn't engage with the feeling as much. I didn't like resist it and try to push it away, but I didn't give into it either. It was there and it was unimportant. And then it went away. And I think the scarcity feeling is gonna work the same way for me. I think if I just know that I feel scarcity and I stop engaging with it eventually, it's gonna stop showing up but I think it's something interesting to think about, like how much of what you're feeling is based on what is actually currently happening in your life and how much is based off of habit. And it may be worth taking a look at and really examining like your feelings to see if there are any that are there that are just out of pure habit. If you would like any help looking for any feeling habits that you might have going on, hit the link in the show notes for my mini session and we'll take a look together. alright, my friends until next time, be well