Environment can be the secret saboteur in your healing journey.
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Hey my friends. This week I want to talk about the importance of environment. Because as important as mindset is and as powerful as our minds are, we are still greatly shaped by our environment. And part of the way we get to use our brain to our benefit is in shaping our environment. And our environment consists of not just the physical places that we find ourselves, but the people we're around, the things that we see and experience, and the culture that we reside in. All of those things have a shaping effect on us, be it good, or bad, or both. There's a quote that says, and I have no idea who originally said this quote, but it says you cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick. And and I find there to be some truth in that. it's really really hard to heal from a toxic relationship while you are in one. You have to first exit the toxic environment in order to begin to heal it. Otherwise, all the work you put in, you're just undoing it by staying in an environment that is actively working to erode any progress that you make. It just doesn't get very far. Unless you correct the environment. It's also why no contact ,or limited contact if no contact is not possible, is so important. It's why boundaries are so important. Doing the emotional work and the thought work is so important and it's such a vital part of healing. But the other really necessary piece is working to cultivate a healthy environment. And I'm really focused on that Myself These Days. Because as I get deeper and deeper into the weeds of healing from my own shit, the more I see how important a piece environment plays. Especially when you start to want to create a certain kind of life; when you have a specific vision for how your life how you want your life to be. And you really have to start to pay attention to what is shaping you and knowing if what is shaping you is taking you closer or farther from your your objective. Because environment can be the secret sabotage that's happening right under your nose. And so I think it is really helpful to take a look at all of the aspects of your environment and evaluate if they're benefiting you or not. Like if you want to find a really good quality romantic relationship, say. But your friends are always complaining about the dating pool and their dating woes. That might not be a supportive environment for cultivating what you're wanting in your life. It might be shaping you to have certain biases or a negative mindset about dating which will hinder your ability to attract what you're really wanting. And not only is it setting you up with some existing bias and attitude but also creating the condition that if you were to find a successful relationship, you will be the odd one out. You will no longer have this in common with your friend group. And some part of you might fear being cut off from the group should you get what you want. And this can be like an internal struggle in you against the movement towards finding a romantic relationship. It will be like different parts of you moving in different directions and it can be really difficult to overcome that. You can feel almost at war with yourself. And it can seem so harmless to listen to people complain about dating, like it's so easy to tell ourselves that Oh that doesn't matter. It wouldn't affect me. But I think that's what's so sinister about environmental factors is that sometimes we aren't even aware of how much our environment is shaping us. There's another quote that I don't know who originally said it. But it says that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time around. And so if you were to average out the five people you spend most time with either physically or digitally. Would that equal the life that you want? Would that equal the person that you want to be? Do you admire the people around you and want to be more like them? And if not, it might be worth looking at that. And that might not mean cutting off all the people in your life right? But it might mean turning up the dial on the shaping influences that you want and turning down the dial on the shaping influences that you don't-- however you decide to do that. When I was doing body image work on myself environment played a very critical role. I did a whole social media audit to support that work that I was doing. I evaluated every single social media account that I followed ,every TV show that I watched, everything I read, everything I was consuming. And I asked myself, How did it contribute to me feeling about my body? And if it did not support me feeling good about my body it had to go even if I liked it for other reasons, because I needed an environment that would support my desires. So I removed accounts and media that did not support that. And then I added in ones that did and it made a huge difference. I did a lot of other mindset work along with it but it was so much easier when I was supported by my environment instead of working against my environment. So much easier. It's like how it is so much easier not to binge on chips if there are no chips in the house. It takes less effort and willpower when you can set up your environment to help you succeed. And so I would invite you to take a look at all the pieces of your environment and take a look at how they are shaping you. And is that a way that you want to be shaped? Is that shaping going to take you closer or further to where or who you want to be? There is a book written by Dr. Benjamin Hardy called Willpower Doesn't Work that really goes into the importance of our environment and how to shape and control it for success. And I highly recommend checking this book out if you can. Dr. Hardy is always really good about explaining the psychology behind things and so if that's something that interests you, I highly recommend checking out his book all right, until next time, my friends be well