Drop the Bags Bitch
Drop the Bags Bitch
How to Change Your Life
In this episode we nerd out on the neuroscience behind changing your life. I give personal examples as well as a useful home practice to begin radically changing your life.
Learn more about my 6 week program: www.melindagerdungcoaching.com
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Beat Provided By https://freebeats.io
Produced By White Hot
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Find out more about my work: www.melindagerdungcoaching.com
Book a session with me: https://calendly.com/gerdungmelinda/coaching-session
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Beat Provided By https://freebeats.io
Produced By White Hot
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Hey my friends. I want to talk about this part of the brain called the reticular activating system, or RAS for short. The purpose of the RAS is filtering. Our brains have to do a lot of filtering. Our human senses take in about 11 million bits of information every second. But our brain can only consciously process about 40 to 50 bits of information a second. So that's like .0003% of the actual amount of information. So how does our brain know what information to process? How does it choose which .0003% of the information we're actually going to become conscious of? And that's the job of the RAS. The RAS decides what we get to actually process. The RAS always chooses to show us information that reaffirms our existing beliefs. If it didn't, we would be in a constant state of cognitive dissonance. So our brain will literally filter out everything that doesn't reaffirm what we already believe. And this is why, or one of the reasons why, it is so important to examine your beliefs because whatever you believe will be your reality. Your brain will make it so. A lot of our beliefs didn't even originate with us. It's stuff we picked up from our environment before we were even eight years old. But these beliefs are still shaping our lives whether we're conscious of them or not. They are shaping our reality. It's the way it works. So if your beliefs are something like men are disgusting pigs, then that is what you're going to see. That is what you're going to get. Your brain is going to ignore any and all men who aren't disgusting pigs. And the belief is going to feel very real. Because it is getting reinforced by your RAS. You'll say look all men are pigs look at all the evidence around me. Because you literally will not be able to see anything else. Your beliefs are shaping your reality. Whatever you believe is possible for you, is possible for your life, that will be your reality. A fun little exercise to do if you want to see the brains filtering action in real time, is take your finger and touch the tip of your nose. Now, actually do this with me right now so you can see this, touch your finger to your nose. Can you see your finger? You can see your finger, but can you see your nose? No, you can't really see your nose. I can see it like maybe a little bit, but not as clearly as I can see my finger,but it's there. It's at the same place that your finger is at and you can see your finger. Your nose is in your view, but you don't see your nose all the time because your brain is filtering it out. It's always there. You just don't see it because your brain has decided it is not important to show you. It gets filtered out. And notice that that isn't something you consciously decided. You didn't say to yourself, hey, I don't want to see my nose all the time. So let's just ignore that. No, the RAS decided that for you. This isn't a conscious process. The RAS is always deciding what is important enough to show you and your existing beliefs are what informs the RAS of what is important enough to see. This is why I believe in coaching so strongly, why coaching is so powerful. Because before I found coaching, I thought I was just observing the world, observing reality. I didn't realize that I was only observing what my brain would allow me to observe. Is a fish aware of the water it swims in? I would say no, not until it is pointed out. Coaching is what pointed it out for me. It made me aware of the water I was swimming in, and not only become aware of it, but allowed me to change it. Allowed me to create different possibilities for my life,possibilities that only became possible when I changed my brain to allow them. Because you can't access what you can't see. If you don't think certain things are possible for you, you won't even see the opportunities that are there. You won't be able to. They will literally not exist for you. It will be filtered out the same way your nose is filtered out of your view. And, unfortunately, we can't see the water we're swimming in. Not until it is pointed out. Then you can see. And once you see, you can't unsee. And this is why coaching changes lives so powerfully. This is why my life is so drastically different than what it was just a few years ago. Because I can see things now that I couldn't a few years ago. Because I ask questions now that it would never have occurred to me to even ask before. I thought I was just observing reality. I thought I was just looking at what was, how the world was. But I was wrong. I was only seeing a fraction of what is possible. This is why when I say like the person who steps into my six week program is not the same person who steps out. Like they are a literal different person by the end. Who they are, what is possible for them is completely different. Because what their RAS allows them to see is completely different. It changes their reality. One home practice that you can try that I have found helpful for changing the water you are swimming in is to pretend that what you want to believe is true. I think I've talked on here before about how I have this long standing belief that I am unlikable. I'm too fringe. I'm too weird. People don't really want me around. That is the water I swim in. That is what I have all around me. That is my reality. But I have also found that I can change that reality by pretending that the opposite is true. I will say to myself, I am going to pretend that I am likable and that everyone wants to be around me and I am going to act and behave as if that were true. And when I pretend that, I find it to be actually true. And it blows my fucking mind. And this is a very conscious and deliberate practice because unless I am paying very strict attention, I am going to slip into my default. So when I'm pretending that, I am constantly asking myself things like how would someone who believes that they are likeable respond to this text message? How would they show up to this event? How would they converse with people? How would they behave? And then I do that. I behave that way. I show up that way. And look this feels awful. It feels like you are being a crazy person. It feels like I am being fucking delusional and should be locked up in a mental hospital. Because it is going against what I see as reality. So fair warning, if you attempt this, you are going to be uncomfortable in the extreme. You are going to have to be able to tolerate extreme discomfort and this is a skill. It's a skill that I help my clients build because discomfort is the currency of your dreams. But it's worth the discomfort because it will also blow your mind open. Because then you will see how much your beliefs shape your reality. When you believe one thing then it is true. And when you believe the opposite, it is also true. It's fucking wild. It makes me feel physically dizzy. Like I will get a dizzy sensation when I'm doing it right. It's just wild y'all. For example, a time when I did this: there was this time I got a person's number. And they said hey, I'm having a party next weekend you should come. And so the next week comes and I haven't heard from them. What my RAS wants me to believe is that this is evidence that they didn't mean it. They didn't really want me there otherwise they would have sent me the address, right? Like I don't have any of the details of this party so that means they don't actually want me there. But I consciously thought to myself, Okay, if I 100% believe that people wanted me around, what would that look like here? And well, if I 100% believed that, I would text this person and ask for the details. So I did that. And they responded who's this? And I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. And my brain was screaming at me like see they don't even remember you let alone want you that at this party. My brain wanted me to like either ignore the message and forget about it or like apologize and say like nevermind, or whatever. It was like reverse this transaction! But I stuck with pretending that I was likable and wanted. So I reminded them who I was. And then they were like, Oh my God. Yes. Here's the info for the party. I'll see you there. And I went to this party. And it blew my mind. And this would never have happened if I wasn't pretending that I was likable and wanted around. It could have become more evidence for the opposite. Both could have been true. But since I decided to act as if it were true that I was likable and wanted around that is the reality that I experienced. I could have experienced another reality. I could have not texted for the info like my brain wanted me to, like what felt like the same option, and never gotten the party info. And it would have been confirmation of my existing belief that I'm unlikable and no one wants me around. I have had so many experiences just like that one of pretending that I'm likeable and wanted around and that becoming the truth of the experience. And every single time my friends it blows my fucking mind. And it just goes to show you how much like what you are believing shapes your reality. So try this practice, and let me know how it goes. I love hearing about people blowing their own minds. Love it. And if you want more information on my coaching program, like if you feel like this transformation of the RAS is for you, you can find all of the information and how to apply on my website wwww.melindagerdungcoaching.com All right, my friends until next time, be well.