Drop the Bags Bitch

The Layers of Healing

August 21, 2024 Melinda Episode 113

This episode contains the reminder that I have to keep giving to myself in my own healing journey. May it also help you in yours. 

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Hey, my friends. So in my spiritual practice, I pray and make offerings to a deity, and I found myself wanting it to be magic. I wanted to make the prayers and give the offerings and ask this deity to make me feel better, and then this deity just magically make me feel better. I wanted magic. Instead, what I get is a response like, Oh, you want to feel better? Okay, here are all the things you need to address in order to feel better. I wanted magic and I got work instead. I think this instant gratification slash entitlement thing is a pretty natural occurrence for humans. I see it all the time, both in myself and in others. I see it in clients. Sometimes they'll come and they want something that will magically make them feel better. But there is no such thing. There are things that will help and that you can get amazing results with. I've definitely come away from coaching or therapy sessions with huge breakthroughs for myself. I've seen my clients come away from sessions with huge breakthroughs that have a significant impact on their life. And it also doesn't solve everything. There is no silver bullet, magic potion, prescription pill that undoes the need for good old fashioned hard work. And healing is hard work. I found that it's not magical and flowy most of the time; it's snot and tears and confronting your demons. Even in my spiritual work, where it is kind of magical that I get to see all the areas I need to address. I am still a being with free will, and I have to use that free will and put effort into things. There is no bypassing that no matter what. I watch this show on Hulu, sometimes called my 600 pound life. There are all these people trying to get gastric bypass surgery, and they all say they want the surgery so they won't do this to themselves anymore, so that their cravings will go away. The problem they all encounter is that the surgery just makes their stomach smaller. It renders them physically unable to eat the way that they had been eating before. But it does not get rid of their cravings like they thought it would. They still all inevitably have to confront what it was that made them start eating like that in the first place. They have to address and face the feelings that they were trying so hard to avoid. They all end up in therapy and usually have to process and deal with some kind of childhood trauma. There is no magic procedure that enables them to bypass that work. Or there are these sculpting procedures you can go get where you can, like, lose fat off your body in a single day. They advertise it as no need to do six weeks in the gym to look good in a swimsuit, when you can spend one day and that fat will be gone forever. Which sounds amazing, and it works! It works for making you look skinnier, but there is no replacement for your health, for good old fashioned nutrition and exercise. Because you can suck all the fat off your midsection and thighs and look skinny and still have a heart that is being choked by visceral fat. You can still have clogged up arteries in an enlarged liver. It's not a replacement. There is no replacement for work. That is the reminder that I've been having to give myself, and so I'm also giving it to all of you, my friends. There is no substitute for the work. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. We're not entitled to a result without working for it. You can't master the piano if you never practice. Effort must always be made in all things. The feelings, the relationships, the money, the whatever doesn't come without work and effort on your part. And yeah, it sucks because we are biologically hardwired to conserve energy, meaning we don't necessarily always feel like we want to work for everything. But that's how the world works. It's easy to feel frustrated, because it seems like every time I get through a new layer of healing, there's just another layer underneath it that I can now see that needs healing, like some kind of onion. And I just want to be done, but I'm starting to suspect that we are never really done. We just keep going and getting better and better, but we never really stop. There is no destination. There's only journey. And that's what life is going to end up being--a journey. And I need to be mindful in myself of when I am expecting a result without doing the work All right, my friends, that's what I got for you this week. Until next time, be well.